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Deviant for 6 Years
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Newest Deviations

The Ice Witch by lolzmelmel The Ice Witch :iconlolzmelmel:lolzmelmel 12 3 Jesus the Pun Lover by lolzmelmel Jesus the Pun Lover :iconlolzmelmel:lolzmelmel 3 0 Jesus the Cat Lover by lolzmelmel Jesus the Cat Lover :iconlolzmelmel:lolzmelmel 3 5 Princess Spidey by lolzmelmel Princess Spidey :iconlolzmelmel:lolzmelmel 6 3 Magical Girl For a Friend 7 (Zenaida) by lolzmelmel Magical Girl For a Friend 7 (Zenaida) :iconlolzmelmel:lolzmelmel 1 0 Magical Girl For a Friend 6 (Kat) by lolzmelmel Magical Girl For a Friend 6 (Kat) :iconlolzmelmel:lolzmelmel 2 0 Magical Girl For a Friend 5 (Aster) by lolzmelmel Magical Girl For a Friend 5 (Aster) :iconlolzmelmel:lolzmelmel 3 0 Magical Girl For a Friend 4 (Adelaide) by lolzmelmel Magical Girl For a Friend 4 (Adelaide) :iconlolzmelmel:lolzmelmel 1 0 Magical Girl For a Friend 3 (Jess) by lolzmelmel Magical Girl For a Friend 3 (Jess) :iconlolzmelmel:lolzmelmel 1 0 Magical Girl For a Friend 2 (Taylee) by lolzmelmel Magical Girl For a Friend 2 (Taylee) :iconlolzmelmel:lolzmelmel 1 0 Louise Belcher Doodle by lolzmelmel Louise Belcher Doodle :iconlolzmelmel:lolzmelmel 2 0 SPG Upgrade by lolzmelmel SPG Upgrade :iconlolzmelmel:lolzmelmel 3 1 Sailor Moon Chibi by lolzmelmel Sailor Moon Chibi :iconlolzmelmel:lolzmelmel 5 0 Companion Kyubey by lolzmelmel Companion Kyubey :iconlolzmelmel:lolzmelmel 2 0 Norway Being Metal WIP Part 2 by lolzmelmel Norway Being Metal WIP Part 2 :iconlolzmelmel:lolzmelmel 0 0 Magical Girl For a Friend by lolzmelmel Magical Girl For a Friend :iconlolzmelmel:lolzmelmel 2 0

Favourites

Sailor Scouts - Not a Planet by perishing-twinkie Sailor Scouts - Not a Planet :iconperishing-twinkie:perishing-twinkie 1,486 238 Eternal Sailor Pluto Final Pose (Manga Only) by iHasMagic Eternal Sailor Pluto Final Pose (Manga Only) :iconihasmagic:iHasMagic 19 4 Sexy Loki by SasoriScorpion Sexy Loki :iconsasoriscorpion:SasoriScorpion 2,038 542 Russia by Runioni Russia :iconrunioni:Runioni 241 24 You're even better by solo104 You're even better :iconsolo104:solo104 489 84 Wang Yao-in different styles by Qingmu Wang Yao-in different styles :iconqingmu:Qingmu 280 103 [APH]America - Smile by HetakuSpain [APH]America - Smile :iconhetakuspain:HetakuSpain 182 97 You Can't Win, Pita Breath by Labryinth-Absurd You Can't Win, Pita Breath :iconlabryinth-absurd:Labryinth-Absurd 25 38 [Late] Present - lolzmelmel - China by Sophy-Chan77 [Late] Present - lolzmelmel - China :iconsophy-chan77:Sophy-Chan77 3 10 RP Russia VS: America by starzx2000 RP Russia VS: America :iconstarzx2000:starzx2000 20 5 Russian Cat by kaze-no-sasayaki Russian Cat :iconkaze-no-sasayaki:kaze-no-sasayaki 15 6 APH - Spain by C4L4M1T43R0ST4T0
Mature content
APH - Spain :iconc4l4m1t43r0st4t0:C4L4M1T43R0ST4T0 123 35
Prussia is overminded by Accado Prussia is overminded :iconaccado:Accado 393 109 The Demon by iAlly
Mature content
The Demon :iconially:iAlly 289 24
APH Liechtenstein and Romania by MelindaPhantomhive APH Liechtenstein and Romania :iconmelindaphantomhive:MelindaPhantomhive 183 53

Activity


  • Listening to: Uninstall by Chiaki Ishikawa
  • Reading: Sybil
  • Watching: Sybil
  • Playing: Undertale
  • Eating: Ravioli
  • Drinking: Earl Grey
Yeah, I just want to complain a little about what's going on with me.

Lately my psychosis has been kicking up. I've been having a lot more hallucinations and paranoid delusions than usual.

There are people who live in the walls of my house and they watch everything I do. I'm not sure that they're quite human, since they have really thin, flexible bodies that let them squeeze a bunch of them into the small space inside a wall, and they're dark and translucent. They're also covered with eyes and mouths so they can see everything and tell me lots of things at once. I don't know how many there are, just that they're crammed into every wall in my house. Somehow they follow me to other places too. I'm not sure if they have secret passages or portals or if they just have communication devices planted in my head but they talk to me even when I'm not home. They know everything but they only tell me what they want me to know. Usually it's things like who's watching me, who's plotting against me, which water fountain is poisoned, where's safe or unsafe to go, etc. They tell me how to keep myself safe by avoiding unsafe places. I hate them because they're scary and annoying but at the same time I feel like I have to listen to them and be grateful to them for protecting me. They've been around for a while, I don't know how long.

I keep seeing and hearing other things too and it's getting really annoying. Sometimes it's scary but usually just annoying. 

I have an appointment with the psychiatrist next month and I'll tell him what's been going on. An increase of my meds might be in order.

I've also been having almost nonstop migraines for days on end. Headaches and migraines are a nearly daily occurrence for me anyway but usually I don't have to take medicine for it more than once in a day. Lately I've been having to take the maximum number of doses to get any peace.

One of my delusions I've been having is that my migraines are being caused by mind-reading devices planted in my head by the government. I don't know how or why they would do that, I just know they want to spy on me.

The more sensible part of me suspects that the migraines have to do with my scoliosis, like they usually do. A bone in my neck sometimes slides and pinches a nerve, causing killer headaches.

Speaking of scoliosis, I have a couple of ribs out of place. This is also a regular occurrence. But I can't see my chiropractor to get them fixed because I'm behind on my bill. They won't make me another appointment until I pay off some of it and I might not be able to for a couple more weeks. The ribs will go back into place on their own eventually but in the meantime they'll hurt a lot and be very inconvenient.

So those are my complaints. I'm coping with the psychosis with a couple of memes I made up, Schizoaffective Seahorse and Delusional Dormouse. I'm coping with the pain with medicine and tea. I know it will get better eventually, I just want to vent a little.

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lolzmelmel's Profile Picture
lolzmelmel
Melmel
United States
I'm Melmel, a genderqueer nerdlord. Please use they/them or ze/zir pronouns.

Top ten fandoms:

Hetalia
Steven Universe
The Walking Dead
Puella Magi Madoka Magica
Sailor Moon
Black Butler
Avengers
Disney
Star Trek
Doctor Who

Top ten music artsits:

Black Veil Brides
Franz Ferdinand
Steam Powered Giraffe
Kalafina
My Chemical Romance
The Rumjacks
Voltaire
Alexander Rybak
Gackt
The Dreadnoughts

Other stuff I like:

Cats
Magical girls
Puns
Food
Feminism
Tea
Learning about mental illnesses
Writing dark stuff
Dank memes
Crocheting

I'm also neurodivergent. I have Asperger's syndrome/autism, schizoaffective disorder, major depressive disorder, dermatillomania, ADHD, and some kind of dissociative disorder. I don't have any alters but I do dissociate, depersonalize, and derealize frequently.

Umm, that's all for now, but if there's anything else you want to know, just ask!

Comments


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:iconbioteknos:
Bioteknos Featured By Owner May 20, 2015  Professional General Artist
Happy birthday! :D
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:iconashleylunar:
AshleyLunar Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2014  Student General Artist
Hello there! Hug Just stopping by :) (Smile) Just wanted to say Hello~ Heart

Have a nice day~!
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:icondinocakez:
DinoCakez Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2014
Hey
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:iconhetavocacore:
HetaVocaCore Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
And guess who stalks your dA now, mim amigo~ :iconnipahplz:
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:icondragulasdragons:
DragulasDragons Featured By Owner May 20, 2013
Happy birthday! :D
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:iconyellowbeast:
YellowBeast Featured By Owner May 20, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
HAPPY BIRTHDAY~! :party:
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:iconroxythefairy:
RoxyTheFairy Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2013
Bbyz.
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:iconlolzmelmel:
lolzmelmel Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2013
Honey.
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:iconroxythefairy:
RoxyTheFairy Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2013
omfg you're alive.
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:iconlolzmelmel:
lolzmelmel Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2013
I am. owo
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